- Your Life For Mine – Steal a life from a buddy, he doesn’t need it.
- Stick That In Your Archive – Complete the game in single player mode.
- Half Way There – Complete half the game.
- Its Aboot Time – Complete ‘Oh. Canada’ in 12 minutes.
- Lights out – Defeat the level 2 boss ‘Old Berney’ without losing a life.
- Smooth sailing – Complete ‘The Hate Boat’ without using a continue.
- With honor – Defeat 10 Samurai in ‘Well FU too’
- Master collector – Collect all the Matt Hazard Game Boxes throughout the game.
- My buddy and me – Complete the game in Co-op mode.
- Score – Reach 500,000 points.
- Come On Down! – Collect all the pachinko coins in the game.
- Houston, We Have Perfection – Take no damage to the Landing Pod and land perfectly on the landing pad.